Welcome to the Madness

 This blog is going to be about a whole bunch of different and random things...it's starting mainly because I've wanted to create a project whether it be in the form of a book, or a screenplay for a TV show or a movie for YEARS now but have not been able to pull any of it together in an organized way.

I'm definitely not saying that this page will be organized because - just being honest - it will most likely not be, but that's kind of representative of who I am as a person. I've had a lot of weird life experiences already, literally from the moment I was conceived up until tonight as I'm typing this. I know a lot of random facts about random things and could talk your ear off about anything out of the norm...anyone who can keep up with me in a conversation and also keep my interest/curiosity peaked is someone that I want to be best friends with.

So, just as a general warning for what you're about to get yourself into, I'm going to attempt to break down into groups the topics I'll most likely be covering the most (in no particular order):

1. Paranormal/Unexplainable things....I am a believer in "ghosts" for lack of a better term. I believe that we all have a soul, we all have a spirit/energy that has to go somewhere when our physical body is gone. Ever since I've been a small child, I've experienced a lot of crazy things that made me a believer and also made me want to know more...so now as an adult, I tend to go try to find and explore places locally that have history and folklore (or real facts) that point to some residual energy being left there. I have some photos and videos that will cover most of these type of posts I make for now. 

2. Spirituality (All Kinds)....I was raised originally in the Roman Catholic religion, and although I do still have a couple elements from that religion that I hold onto, I found a whole big wide world of other religious/spiritual practices that intrigued me. Now I've found my own happy medium with what I practice spiritually myself, but I will be sharing what I know and may come across in the future about everything from working with herbs, crystals, chakras, candles, tarot cards, Viking Runes, Hoodoo/Voodoo, palm reading, ASTROLOGY!, energy healing, etc....to history of Indigenous cultures (such as my own), history of rituals of all kinds, information on all the Gods and Goddesses that I have come across...and so much more.

3. REAL LIFE! UNCENSORED .....I am a mother of a 10 year old. I had her a month after I turned 22. Her father and I have not seen eye to eye for a really long time and we have been in family court battling for custody for years. I think everyone knows there's a whole lot to talk about with just that alone. I am also adopted. My birthmother was not a citizen of the U.S. when she got pregnant with me (she lived in Mexico) so she came to Los Angeles to give birth to me so I could be born a naturalized citizen. I did not know anything about her other than her name for 30 years of my life. I'll explain the whole insane story in a couple different posts, but for now, I can say that I know I have 4 older half-siblings (3 brothers, 1 sister who is closest in age) and 1 younger half-brother. My sister and I talk every week and I am so grateful that we found each other. I was able to see pictures of all my siblings I didn't even know I had for the first time, and I was able to see my biological mother's face in photos that my sister sent me. Myself and my younger half-brother do not have the same father as our older siblings, nor do we have the same father ourselves. Our mother knows who his father is, as it was a boyfriend she had after she separated from my older sibling's father. I'm just going to word it the easiest way I can for the sake of this general post- I'm the only one who has a father that no one knew or will ever know. 

4. Recovery!!....There is no shame in my game; at one point in my life I had a substance abuse problem and my drug of choice at the end of my journey was heroin. I have been to detox countless times, 30 day programs, done IOPs (Intensive Outpatient Programs) after every trip I made, been on and off Suboxone many times, been on and off Vivitrol several times, been an avid NA/AA meeting attender, also boycotted both those programs at one point.....seen and experienced a lot of painful and ugly things because of my addiction problems. But I never gave up fully, I would always keep trying to get clean again and I am fortunate enough to say that I have almost 6 years clean as of today. Unfortunately, I lost a LOT of people that were a huge part of my life because of their addictions and they are actually the motivation for most everything I do, including whatever this turns into. I will be trying to memorialize each one of them as best as I can because they all deserve that and so much more. I also will have videos and posts speaking as only I know how to (brutally honest) about my personal feelings about addiction and everything that comes with it, my own experiences, both the AA and NA programs and MAT (Medication Assisted Therapy). I'm also going to try to dedicate some posts to what NA/AA is all about and how it can be used as a really great tool for any addict...or just as reference to anyone who may be reading this and struggling. 

5. Mental Illness Awareness/Education.....this kind of ties in with #4, but a lot of the time people are struggling with an underlying mental illness that hasn't been detected or properly diagnosed and can lead that person into a lifestyle where they use and abuse drugs and/or alcohol. It can lead that person to act out in so many other ways too, and unfortunately direct any anger or frustration at the people closest to them. So I will be addressing some ADULT and DISTURBING content at points (usually in the context of domestic situations) but even though honesty is the policy here, I'm going to try to keep it as digestible as possible and maintain the focus on what we can do as individuals and as society as a whole to be better at helping fix this ongoing problem. 

6. And finally....Anything/Everything I find interesting, weird, scary.....I am a huge true crime fanatic, I know probably way too much about serial killers, unsolved murders and mysteries, abnormal psychology, conspiracy theories...it all fascinates me and if you haven't noticed already, I'm a curious cat by nature so I am THAT person that dives deep in those rabbit holes in search of the missing pieces to a messed up puzzle. I still say I'm going to solve a case one of these days. Just wait. 

Those are the basics to my insane life right there...it's been an incredible, stressful, beautiful, painful, blessed journey so far but I wouldn't have it any other way because of what I have in my life now. I want to continue to grow and learn, and I want to give back anything I can to other people in this world. Hopefully some of this manages to do this for just one person one time and I'll be happy! Stay tuned kids......